Maxine Magnets (3/8" x 3" x 3") -laminated on stained and shallacked solid wood. Two magnet strips on back for increased magnetism. $2.00 ea. Order by number:
1-If it got dark any earlier, we wouldn't have to get up at all.
2-How do we know global warming isn't just mother nature having a hot flash?
3-I can rise and shine, but not at the same time.
4-They hold elections in November because it's the best time for picking out a turkey.
5-Ever feel like you've had too much coffee? Me neither.
6-Don't forget to turn your clock back. I'm going to turn mine back to when I was 20.
7-How's this for a political platform: Don't lie through your teeth.
Maxine Magnets-Set 2- 3" x 3.5 -laminated on clear polyurethane finished 1/4" Baltic Birch plywood. Please order by number below:
1-I'd consider hormone replacement therapy, but I've got a bunch of other things that need replacement first.
2-Most of the people you see in lingerie stores you wouldn't want to see in lingerie.
3-Most stress is caused by three things: money, family, and family with no money.
4-A female president would only be a good idea if you wanted the country run right for some reason.
5-When I "snap," you'll be the first to go.
6-It would save me a lot of trouble if you would put this on your frig and leave it up all year.
7-I believe that everything happens for a reason. Usually the reason is that somebody screwed up.
8-Let me know if you suddenly become interesting.
9-Personally, I think that conservatives and libersals should move to the middle of the road. Makes it easier to run 'em over.
10-Thanks to the internet, you can get hopelessly in debt without ever leaving your house.
Fun Magnets (3/8" x 3" x 3") -laminated on stained and shallacked solid wood. Two magnet strips on back for better adhesion. $2.00 ea. Order by number:
1-Being over the hill is much better than being under it.
2-May God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the people I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
3-If we're here to help others, what are the others here for?
4-Two choices: You can either agree with me or be wrong.
5-Slow - Grandparents at play.
6-Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
7-Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
8-Sign in an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
9-Sign in Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
10-Message on brochure: If you are illiterate, this brochure will explain to you how to obtain help.
11-Note from parent to teacher: Mary will be absent tomorrow because we have to attend a funeral next week.
12-Note from parent to teacher: Johnny was absent yesterday because he had loose vowels.
13-Sign in New York department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs
14-Note from parent to teacher: Joanne was absent Tuesday because the preacher went overtime.
15-Sign outside conference room: For those of you who have children and don't know it, there is a Day Care on the first floor.
16-Note from parent to teacher: Please excuse Jean's absence from school Monday. She was with the Marines all weekend.
17-Notice in Health Food Shop window: Closed due to illness.
"Intelligence Without Ambition" magnet: Printed on yellow/gray paper, laminted, and adhered to 3/8" solid walnut. L-5-1/4" x W-2-1/2"; two magnet strips on back (top & bottom) for increased magnetized power - $3.00
